I still remember it perfectly, as if it happened yesterday. Because you know, that’s a weird feeling. It’s not every day you walk in and the guests treat you as if you were also a guest.

So long story short, my flatmate organised her birthday party. 

I had met her 3 months ago when I moved in. Really nice girl from India, sweet and thoughtful, she always worked a lot and we only caught up a few times. I never met any of her friends so when she told me she was having a birthday party at home, I was quite exited. Finally, we could party together! 

But it didn’t turn out as I imagined. I am usually really friendly and I don’t have trouble to start a conversation with strangers. But that night, I simply didn’t know where to start or who to speak to. 

Maybe I was naive, but I didn’t think that all of her friends would be from India. Not only a few but all of them. I don’t have anything against anyone but I felt I was somewhere I didn’t belong. And I could see I was not the only one to be confuse. As the only « white » girl, everyone was wondering who the fuck I was and how I could possibly know Deepti. Yes, that’s my flatmate’s name.

As the host of the night, Deepti introduced me as her flatmate to a few people but they were more interested in catching up and learning about the latest gossip. I ended up being closer to the food than the people. Well, at least I was connecting with something Indian. 

I was busy trying to figure out what flavour the puff had in my hand when a girl came to talk to me. « We prepared a card to sign in Deepti’s bedroom if you want. That’s the first door in the entrance, the other one is her flatmates». I looked at her and I remember just saying « Ok thank you ».

Why didn’t I introduce myself? I still don’t know. Maybe because she was already walking in the other direction or maybe because the puff was too spicy and I couldn’t feel my mouth anymore? 

A few minutes later, as I was walking in our corridor, a guy came and asked me if I was looking for the bathroom. I was about to answer but he told me to go straight into Deepti’s room because we were not supposed to go to her flatmate’s bathroom. No kidding, again?

Okay I appreciated the concern about me or should I say « her flatmate » but the only European of the night is right next to you and you don’t see the evidence? Well, again, I ended up saying « Ok, thank you » and kept walking. 

I was about to enter my bathroom, « her flatmate’s bathroom », when two girls came out of it. One of the girls said « Deepti’s bathroom is the other way, don’t come here ».

Who are you to forbid me to enter my own bathroom? I was torn between incredulity and annoyance. Was I going to step out and speak my truth?

At this point, It was too late to try so I started to think about it as a joke. Which story could I tell people if they asked me how I met Deepti? Yeah, at this stage, I still had hope to make friends with someone.

I went back to the only Indian I was connecting to, you know it, food. This time, I had learned my lesson and stayed away from the puff. Instead, I chose an aloo samosa that I dip into a green sauce. I was hoping to be a mint sauce because more spice would have killed my mouth. Or maybe that’s what I was looking for? A reason for my mutism.

That was the moment a girl chose to confess to me how much she hated Indian food. I looked at her as she continued «It’s not because I am Indian that I love all this stuff ». Her honesty took me off guard and I started to laugh.

Thank god, it was a mint sauce. 

Before I had the chance to say something she asked me «You must be Deepti’s flatmate no? I am Gini, nice to meet you ». Believe me, I would have hugged her if I could. Finally, someone who saw me and thought I was worth having a conversation with.  

We started to talk and she confessed to me that she hesitated a lot before coming as she didn’t know anyone. I answered her that If I didn’t live there, I wouldn’t have come.

That being said, we connected instantly. The night went by and it felt like we had known each other for a long time. Other people started to come into our conversation because they saw us laughing constantly. It didn’t take us a long time to bring everyone around us.

We had a really great time and before leaving, a few guests said to Deepti « such a shame we didn’t meet your flatmate. Make sure she is there next time you throw a party! ». I can still see Deepti’s face when she turned at me saying «What the fuck? ». 

The next day, Deepti said to me Gini asked my number because she wanted to hang out again.

It is funny how a mutually excluded feeling started our friendship.

That and a samosa.